Sunday, July 24, 2011

how?

How do you get that lonely, how do you hurt that bad to have to make the call, that having no life at all, is better than the life that you had? How do you feel so empty, you wanna let it all go. How do you get that lonely, and nobody know.
No one sees the writing on the wall. 
I know you can't understand.
I'm not blaming anybody.
We all do the best we can.
But, you still don't understand.

It's something not everyone can understand. Suicide is complicated. It's the most painful but thrilling idea to cross the mind of a depressed human. 
You plan it all out. How. When. Where. With what. All of that. You don't let people know. 
You hide. But, people tend to see a new you. 
You go to school glowing, because you know that tomorrow, there will be no more school for you. Tomorrow, there will be no more pain. Tomorrow, you will be gone. But, your peers don't know that. They see a girl smiling for the first time in weeks. They see a girl who is involved. They don't see the pain.
We dream about our funerals, when we should be dreaming about our weddings. We look at water, ropes, pills, knives and guns differently.
But, do you know what hurts most?

It hurts to see your family. It hurts to see your friends. It hurts so bad to see them happy, but it hurts worse seeing them feeling helpless. They want so badly to help, they just can't find a way to. They would give anything to see you happy again. 
Suicide is the most selfish thing anyone can do. You need to realize there are people who care. There are people who love you and want to help you. And, most importantly... you are not the only one.

But, you know what I think?
The only person, the only thing, the only way to stop you... Is you.

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